Tradition & Party by wedding photographer josef Sullivan
I walked into my room today and asked my wife if I should quit. She said, "what?" Tapped the bed and told me to lay down lol. She played doctor and I played patient, speaking my mind and heart about my business affairs. The question if I should quit wasn't a real question filled with any type of despair or any feelings of being at my wits end. It was more a loaded question filled with other questions about if I'm doing it right or if God was being very active in attempting to teach me something.
If you're wondering what even set me off, I began to listen to this interview of a photographer who I know of. They spoke about how many weddings they did in the beginning of their career, and the numbers were pretty fantastic. I also have photographer friends who swear that they never spend money on advertisement and they get more weddings than I get in a year. My questions weren't initiated by covetousness or envy, because I don't want to do that many, nor do I think that my body can take that many weddings a year. But I know that I throw some good money into ads, and I have some great feedback from clients and inquirers alike, so I had to wonder about the slow grind of my journey.
She listened patiently, but I will spare you because I will probably fill up pages if I transcribed the whole conversation. A few takeaways though:
- I can't fathom the breadth and depth of God's mind. Trying to might send me down a rabbit hole of more what ifs, and what abouts. I can trust and take comfort in what has been revealed (i.e. seeking God and His righteousness above all, and He will take care of me; being diligent in my work; working as unto the Lord; promotion comes from Him, etc.)
- I can't be nobody but me. There's just certain things that I can't do off principal. And there may be certain things that I've tried only to quit shortly thereafter because it wasn't me. It was too tiresome to my spirit. There's just certain things that I don't want to do. I don't think it's pride either. Certain trends and things are just not conducive for me.
- I have to try some of the things that I have in "my" mind. Whether it meets my expectations or not. I'm often stricken with the "what if it doesn't" plague.
Most of the things that press us, that we struggle with inwardly, we know the answer or solutions to already – at least in part. We've been dealing with what's good, right, and true for a while.
No quitting in my mind right now. Just diligence and effort to become a better photographer via more practice. I will also aim to be less sick with the "what if it doesn't" plague, and giving my ideas more of a try. A day at a time of course ;).
May I, and you – if you're reading this – have peace, success, and contentment in our efforts.